This Xmas I received, as presents from Santy, both Three Colors Red and The Tenant, two movies I had been looking for for years. These films were both the last movies in trilogies I had started but was unable to finish. In honor of me finally finishing these trilogies I bring you a list of the Best, and the Rest, of the trilogies I have seen.
The Best
Evil Dead- (Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn, Army of Darkness)
Strongest- Evil Dead 2- Greatest Movie of All Time 10/10
Weakest- Army of Darkness- Being the worst film in the Evil Dead series is a lot like being the dumbest person in Mensa 9/10 Samurai Trilogy- (Musashi Miyamoto, Duel at Ichijoji Temple, Duel at Ganryu Island)
-With all do respect to Samuel L Jackson and Bruce Campbell, Toshiro Mifune is without a doubt the Biggest Baddass in film history
Strongest- Duel at Ichijoji Temple- One of the single greatest fight scenes of all time wherein Miyamoto takes on the entire Yoshioka School 9.2/10 Weakest- Duel at Ganryu Island- Final showdown was a little bit of a letdown 8.4/10 Polanski's Apartment Trilogy- (Repulsion, Rosemary's Baby, The Tenant) Strongest- Repulsion- CREEPY atmosphere 9.4/10 Weakest- Rosemary's Baby- Maude, Ruth Gordon, from Harold and Maude won the best supporting actress Oscar in a horror film, don't see that everyday 8.2/10 Three Colors- (Blue, White, Red) -Decided to check out this trilogy by director Krzysztof Kieślowski because he is Polish, and boy am I glad I did. Great intelligent script, wonderful cinematography, they simply don't make films like this in the US. Strongest- Blue- I LOVE Juliette Binoche, the score is almost as beautiful as the star 9.4/10 Weakest- White- This entry is more comical and less serious than the other entries in the trilogy, but is still a great story of revenge 8.6/10 The Rest Lord of the Rings- (Fellowship of the Rings, Two Towers, Return of the King) Strongest- Two Towers- Me like the tree people 7.5/10 Weakest- Return of the King- Literally the exact same movie as Two Towers except with an extra 2 hours of boring/pointless conclusion 6/10 Mad Max- (Mad Max, Road Warrior, Beyond Thunderdome) Strongest- Road Warrior- Sure the Australian accents are kind of annoying and make everyone sound slightly retarded, but this film is full of non stop action from beginning to end 8.5/10 Weakest- Beyond Thunderdome- any movie that prominently features kids is most likely terrible, and this is no exception. Tina Turner added nothing to this film 2/10
Trilogy of the Dead- (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead)
-Yes I know George A Romero has since added 3 more movies to the series, however they came out much later and are of much much lower quality than the original 3
Strongest- Dawn of the Dead- One of the greatest horror films of all time. Also has good, and extremely unsubtle social commentary 9.4/10
Weakest- Day of the Dead- Not as ground breaking or fun as the others in the trilogy but still a very effective and very gruesome horror flick 7.8/10
Star Wars- original (A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi) -Star Wars is for kids people, just admit it Strongest- A New Hope- Who fired first? Who Cares!! 7/10 Weakest- Return of the Jedi- Ewoks seriously? Why do grown men watch movies with Ewoks? 4/10 Bonus: Here is David Lynch talking about how George Lucas tried to recruit him to direct RotJ
Star Wars- prequels (Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith) Strongest- Revenge of the Sith- "You were the Chosen One!!" lucky for me that is the only thing I remember about this movie 5/10 Weakest- Phantom Menace- well at least the n64 pod racing game was cool right? 3/10 Bonus: Here is the first part of the very popular Phantom Menace review
Godfather- (Godfather, Part 2, Part 3) Greatest- Godfather- The flashbacks in part 2 are great, but the original is still the best 9.2/10 Weakest- Godfather Part 3- Everything FF Coppola made after Apocalypse Now is pretty much garbage, and sadly this was no exception 5/10 Chris Nolan's Batman- (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises) Greatest- The Dark Knight- Infinitely re-watchable, unfortunately the people at Reddit discovered it suffers from one of the worst plot holes of all time "The Joker calls Maggie Gyllenhaal beautiful, but she is not" 8.6/10 Weakest- Batman Begins- This film just didn't do it for me, didn't care about Bruce and certainly was not impressed by the villains 6/10 Haven't Finished Yet: Bergman's God Trilogy (Through the Glass Darkly, Winter Light, The Silence) Haven't Seen- Through the Glass Darkly- No excuse, Bergman is great, I should watch this soon. Hannibal Lector- (Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon) Havne't Seen- Red Dragon- I'm a huge fan of the Michael Mann film Manhunter which is an adaptation of the book Red Dragon. I don't want Edward Norton to ruin a good story for me. Spiderman- (1, 2 and 3) Haven't Seen- 1 and 3- Honestly I am a huge fan of director Sam Raimi, see Evil Dead review, but Spiderman 2 is one of the biggest pieces of garbage I have ever had the unfortunate experience of watching. Toy Story- (1, 2 and 3) Havne't Seen- 2 and 3- the original was good when I was a kid, however as I am now over the age of 10 I will not watch the other films in this series Haven't Started- Mariachi Series (Mariachi, Desperado, One Upon a Time in Mexico) - I may not have seen the films, but I have watched this video recipe from director Robert Rodriguez
Europa Trilogy- (The Element of Crime, Epidemic, Europa) -Lars Von Trier trilogy of films, Europa won the Jury Prize at Cannes. I've been meaning to watch more LVT films once I get over how incredibly terrifying Antichrist was Golden Heart Trilogy- ( Breaking Waves, The Idiots, Dancer in the Dark) -Another LVT trilogy, Breaking Waves won the Grand Prix at Cannes and Dancer in the Dark won the Palm d'Or. Yea I should really check this guy out...
Feel free to comment on my rankings and/or suggest more trilogies I need to check out...
Sorry for not posting much lately, and making the blog private, but I sort of have to figure out what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life so I'm a little busy. Anywho I came across this article today on WhatCulture of the most controversial sex scenes of all time.
Here's the link: http://whatculture.com/film/10-most-controversial-sex-scenes-ever.php
Here's the rankings: 10. Crash (1996) - Masochistic Symphorophilia 9. 9 Songs - Unsimulated sex/masturbation/ejaculation 8. Kids - Casper "The Dopest Ghost" rapes chick and catches the bug 7. Irreversible - graphic rape scene 6. The Brown Bunny - unsimulated blow job, apparently the actress swallows 5. Antichrist - Willem Dafoe sex interspersed with baby falling to its death 4. Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song- director used his 13 year old sun in sex scene 3. Salo - female slave forced to eat masters shit 2. The Devils - nuns sexually assault statue of jesus 1. Cannibal Holocaust - ritualistic rape/murder
Thoughts- Many of these films were in my ranking of the most disturbing films of all time, but surprising I have not seen all of these films!!! I haven't seen numbers 9,7,6 or 2. It is a pretty good list, however I was SHOCKED that the "get the butter" buttsex scene from Last Tango in Paris did not make the list. Also, I would put Ken Park on the list over Kids, definitely Larry Clark's most controversial film. I mean a teenager eats out his girlfriends mom, how does that not make the top 10?
I MUST check this film out:
After I wrote my post about the Most Disturbing films I read about a movie that makes me believe my list was incomplete. The film is titled A Serbian Film, and judging by the description I'd say that it has a good chance at claiming the 1 spot. I will be sure to watch this awful awful film so that I can report my findings to you loyal readers.
Here's the Wikipedia plot description:
"Miloš is a semi-retiredporn starand lives with his wife Marija and six-year-old son, Petar. His brother Marko is acorrupt police officerwho envies Miloš' life and is attracted to Marija. Marija is curious about her husband's past and is concerned about the family’s income. Lejla, a former co-star, offers Miloš a starring role in anart filmdirected by Vukmir, an independentpornographerwho wishes to cast Miloš for his powerfulerection. Having already caught Petar watching one of his films and not informed on the details of Vukmir's film, Miloš is hesitant to participate and continue his career, but accepts to secure his family’s financial future. While meeting Vukmir, Miloš passes a bald man and his entourage, regarding them warily.Shooting begins at an orphanage, where Vukmir feeds Miloš instructions through an earpiece given by Vukmir's driver Raša, while a film crew follows him. Miloš sees young girl Jeca abused by her mother, who has disgraced her deceased war hero husband's memory by becoming a whore. In a dark room, screens show Jeca seductively eating an ice pop while Miloš is fellated by a nurse. Then, Miloš is instructed to receive it from the mother, while Jeca watches. Miloš refuses, but is forced to continue. Marko later informs him that Vukmir is a former psychologist and has worked in children's TV and state security. Vukmir meets a hesitant Miloš afterward to explain his artistic style, showing a film of a woman giving birth to a newborn which is immediately raped by Raša, in what the director terms "newborn porn." Miloš storms out and drives away. At a road junction, he is approached and seduced by Vukmir's female doctor.A bloodied Miloš wakes up in his bed some time later with no memory of what has happened. He returns to the now abandoned set and finds a number of tapes. Viewing them, Miloš discovers that he was drugged to induce an aggressive, sexually aroused and suggestible state. At Vukmir's manipulative direction, Miloš beats and rapes Jeca's mother before decapitating her to inducerigor mortis and later, a catatonic Miloš is sodomized by Vukmir's security. He then watches footage of Lejla voicing concern for Miloš, only to be restrained as her teeth are removed. A masked man then enters the room and forces his penis down her throat to kill her by suffocation. The footage continues as Miloš is led to Jeca's home where an elderly woman praises him for killing her mother and offers Jeca as a "virgin commune." Miloš refuses and escapes through a window to an alleyway, where he watches a girl pass by. He begins masturbating and is assaulted by a group of thugs before they are killed by Raša, who then takes Miloš back to a warehouse with Vukmir.At the warehouse, Vukmir's doctor administers more drugs after which Miloš overpowers her, sticking the syringe into her throat. He is then taken into a room to have intercourse with two hidden bodies under a sheet. Miloš is guided onto one body and the masked man from Lejla’s movie enters and begins raping the other. Miloš doesn't notice that his victim is bleeding profusely from therectum. Vukmir then reveals the masked man to be Marko, his victim to be Marija and finally, that Miloš is raping Petar, his own son. An enraged Miloš lunges at Vukmir and smashes his head against the floor, initiating a brawl during which Marija bludgeons Marko to death with a sculpture. Miloš wrestles a gun from a guard and shoots all but the one-eyed Raša, whom he kills by shoving his erect penis into his empty eye socket. A dying Vukmir praises Miloš' actions as truly worthy of film.Miloš, having recalled his actions, including locking his wife and son in their basement before passing out earlier, returns home to find them. He and his wife come to a mutual understanding that he, his wife, and his child, should die together, so the three gather in bed and embrace before Miloš fires a fatal shot through himself, Petar, and Marija. Sometime later a new film crew, including the bald man from earlier, enters the bedroom. He unzips his fly, as the director advises him to "start with the little one.""
I will admit that as an unpopular friendless middle schooler/ high schooler I spent many a Christmas break watching Bond marathons and developed quit an affinity for the spy series. In honor of this classic franchise turning 50 here are my 3 favorite films with the english don juan
Best Bond- Sean Connery hands down
3. Goldeneye- Some may say that the best thing about this movie is the video game that it spawned, and while they certainly wouldn't be wrong, one should not discount the fact that this was a legit piece of entertaining cinema. Pierce Bronsnan's debut transports Bond into the modern age of cyber wars. Brosnan is not my favorite Bond, see above, but he def has a lot of charisma and helps carry this film. Sean Bean is a very underrated and underutilized actor in Hollywood; he plays former double 0 agent Alex Trevelyan who is a worthy adversary for Bond. While not as over the top cheesy as the Roger Moore era, Goldeneye definitely includes some over the top action sequences, most notably Bond driving a tank through the streets of St. Petersburg.
Rating: 8/10
2. Dr. No-Produced 50 years ago, this is the film that started it all. The scene where Bond is first introduced is one of the most iconic in all of cinama, does the quote "Bond, James Bond" ring a bell? Sean Connery's Bond is more vicious here than in later installments as evidenced by Bond toying with the professor before killing him. The plot is rather confusing, how does sending radio signals to disrupt the US Mercury space missions lead to world domination, and it includes many cheesy elements such as Dr. No's metal hands and a Jamaican native afraid of dragons. Nevertheless Dr. No is a very good introduction to one of the best characters and best francheses in film history. The final confrontation is a little anticlimactic, but Ursala Andress more than makes up for any disappointment caused by how easily Dr. No was defeated.
Rating: 8.5/10
Here is the clip voted the the #1 "Greatest Sexy Moment" by Channel 4:
1. Goldfinger- The quintessential Bond film. While it might not have been the first Bond film, it was the first film to include many elements that would became mainstays in the series including a memorable henchman, high tech gadgets and an original song for the opening credits. Includes one of the most memorable scenes and quotes in any Bond film in which Bond is tied to a bench with a laser slowly moving up between his legs. Auric Goldfinger is one of the best Bond villains, Oddjob is THE best Bond henchman, and this is the Best Bond film.
Rating: 9/10
Here is EASILY the greatest Bond Song of all time
And here is the Greatest Bond Quote of all time:
Bonus: My top 3 film choices also include the top 3 best Bond Girl names of all time, Xenia Onatopp,
Honey Rider and Pussy Galore respectively.
Honorable Mentions: A View to a Kill- Sure Roger Moore at 58 was WAY too old to play a believable superspy, but who cares. Moore's Bond films weren't about having a believable plot, they were about good old fashioned cheese. With a Nazi steroid using super genius portrayed by Christopher Walken this film certainly does not fail to deliver the cheese. MayDay, a pajama wearing Amazon woman, is one of the more memorable henchmen in the series. The final showdown on top of the GoldenGate bridge pretty much sums up the Moore Years.
Bonus: The Bond Girl is Donna's mom in that 70's show 7/10
Johnny English Reborn- For some reason I watched this ridiculously unnecessary sequel to another boring Bond parody and have to say the only redeemable thing about the whole film is that McNulty from The Wire uses his real English accent. But def check it out!!! 4/10
You Only Move Twice- Simpson's episode that sort of parodies the Bond Series. Hank Scorpio is def the best super villain of all time. One of the best Simpsons episodes. 9.5/10
Bonus Review: Elephant- If you really like the Columbine shooting, and simply can't get enough of watching teenagers die, then this is the film for you. This film won the Palm d'Or in 2003 which is why I decided to check it out. Although it is well made with an interesting style and original camera work, I'm not sure it's worthy of the biggest movie prize in the world. I recently watched a documentary about Bill Hicks and one of the murderers looks exactly like a young Bill. The entire time I could not help but wonder why one of the greatest comics of all time wanted to kill all those students, it was very confusing. Also, are there really that many bulimic girls in high school? I always thought that was overblown, and the inclusion of it in this film just lessened the reality of the situation for me. This film is like Ali: Fear Eats the Soul, while it is well made, I certainly can't suggest it to any readers unless they have a strange interest in the subject matter.
Rating: 8/10
There has been a lot of big movie news recently, here are three of the biggest stories:
The Good- Top Gun 2 put on Hold
While it is a shame that Tony Scott committed suicide after learning he had an incurable brain tumor, there might be a silver lining the the story wherein his planned sequel to Top Gun might not be made. The original Top Gun, while awesomely cheesy, was made 26 years ago. Is it really necessary to check in on our favorite homoerotic volleyball player after all this time? Of course not, and thankfully it appears that we won't have to. Honestly who wants to see a movie about someone controlling a predator drone and killing a bunch of innocent women, children or American citizens? Please Please Please don't let this garbage get made!!
The Bad- Disney buys Lucas Films
Star Wars is a kids franchise and you know it. If you read this blog I know you are not a kid, so any news about Star Wars should automatically be bad news. The fact that Satan's Spawn aka Disney, bought all of George Lucas' intellectual property, including the Star Wars and Indiana Jones franschises, is the worst movie news in quite some time. With a purchase price of over $4 billion you know that Disney isn't just going sit on the rights by only making money off of reissuing the films in 3D. Nope Disney has already penciled in a Summer 2015 slot for Star Wars Episode 7. Apparently George Lucas already has 6 Star Wars sequels written, this combined with the insane number of books in the Star Wars universe means that The Force will be jammed down the throats of many future generations of movie goers. At least Assface Spielberg has ruled out directing any of the movies.
The Ugly- Warner Bros. has a script for Casablanca 2
The author of the article tries to justify this not being the worst idea of all time because it was written by one screenwriters of the original. I don't care if Bogie and Bergman are resurrected from the dead this is still a TERRIBLE idea. Honestly who the fuck has the balls to step into the role of Rick Blaine, one of the most iconic film characters of all time. Here is some of the description of the dreadful sounding plot
"[Laszlo and Ilsa] attempt to locate Rick after he and Renault left to join the Free French forces opposing Rommel in North Africa. They have had no success.
After leaving Casablanca for America, Ilsa learned she was pregnant. She gave birth to a boy who grew up in America. The real father of the boy, it turns out, was not Laszlo but Rick."
Casablanca is one of the greatest films of all time and was made 70 years ago, LEAVE IT ALONE. This is a million times more unnecessary than even the Top Gun sequel. Can't Hollywood come up with Any original ideas anymore???
For those of you want to be film makers here is an old Hollywood cost saving tip:
If you are making a zombie film, instead of spending all that money on expensive extras, simply film your movie outside a polling place on election day. Rumor has it that's how George A Romero filmed the original Night of the Living Dead, no wonder its so horrifying!!!
I decided to make this list in honor of Halloween having just passed. I realize it is not too extensive as I have not seen every movie ever made, however this is the ranking of the top 10 most disturbing films I have seen. Since these are disturbing films I decided to forgo my usual practice of supplying clips from the films. Also, I did not include any Documentaries because the real world is a million times more disturbing than anything some pothead Hollywood screen writer can come up with.
10. Eraserhead- If the idea of bringing a child into this fucked up world isn't already disturbing enough to you, then watch this debut film by David Lynch. Set in a industrial wasteland, the main character is left by his girlfriend and given their deformed child to raise. The film includes many surreal and disturbing images that would later become a trademark for Lynch.
Bonus Knowledge: Do to financial issues Eraserhead took 5 years to film, so the main actor had to have his character's awful haircut the entire time
9. A Clockwork Orange- While the rape and murder scenes are certainly not for the faint of heart, they are not why A Clockwork Orange is on this list. No, the reason ACO is on this list is the Ludoviko treatment. In the film the main protagonist, Alex, is the leader of a gang of murderers and rapists. After getting caught and convicted of murder he is sent to prison. Instead of serving his full term Alex decides to become a patient in a new procedure that is supposed to "cure" criminals of their bad behavior. The Ludoviko treatment includes viewing a series of movie clips combined with drugs. After the treatment is over Alex is unable to think about criminal acts without becoming physically sick. It is this idea that the government can control your thoughts that makes A Clockwork Orange such a disturbing film. Of course with the fluoridation of the water supply, forced institutionalization of any citizens the government deems "crazy", and the insane over prescription of adderall to children sort of makes the Ludoviko treatment unnecessary.
8. Requiem for a Dream- In the words of Mr. Mackey, "Drugs are Bad Mmmkay." Too bad the characters in this film did not listen to the South Park elementary school counselor, it would have saved them from a lot of bad times. The film begins very optimistically, a budding new romance, profitable drug business and the mom thinks shes gonna appear on a tv show. Unfortunately the drug business turns bad, the lovers become addicted to heroin and the mother becomes addicted to diet pills aka amphetamine in order to lose weight for her tv appearance. The film ends with the four main characters in different yet equally depressing situations. The mother is committed to a Psych ward. The partner is withdrawaling from heroin around racist prison guards. The girlfriend has become a prostitute in order to obtain drugs, anyone who has seen this film will always remember the line "Ass to Ass". The main character has his arm cut off due to continually shoot up into an infected wound. A very well made but extremely depressing film.
7. Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom- After hearing that the director was murdered, apparently because he made this film, I of course knew I would eventually end up watching it. The film revolves around a group of fascist libertines in 1944 Italy who kidnap a group of teenage boys and girls and forces them to do gross sex acts. The film is apparently supposed to prove the saying, "absolute power corrupts absolutely", but in reality is just gross. The film includes lots of naked young people being lead around with leashes and doing gross, mostly homosexual, sex acts. It also includes an infamous scene wherein they have an extravagant dinner party in which they only serve shit. The movie concludes with the fascists brutally murdering the teenagers. When first released this film was met with public outrage, but has since received much acclaim. I'm not sure what modern critics seen in this film, I personally thought i had zero artistic merit and was literally a piece of shit.
6. Martyrs/Inside- Examples of the New French Extremity movement. Both of these films are absolutely relentless in their constant depiction of gore. The first film Martyrs is about a group that seeks to discover the secret of the afterlife through creating martyrs. In order to create martyrs they imprison women and then relentlessly torture them including beatings, cuttings and eventually flayed alive. Inside is about a pregnant woman who is confronted/stalked by a mysterious stranger who very much would like to get a hold of her baby. If you are afraid of needles or hate seeing people stabbed with various objects then avoid this film. If however you enjoy non stop stabbings and would love to see a C-section performed by a non medical specialist this is the film for you. Needless to say, I probably won't be watching any other films from the New French Extremity movement.
5. Last House on the Left- One of the most famous exploitation films of all time. Essentially a remake of the Bergman film The Virgin Spring, only relocated from the middle ages to 1970s America. As hard as it is to believe I actually prefer this film to Bergman's original. The story is about two teenage girls who are kidnapped by a petty criminals and then physically/psychologically tortured and killed. Like the original, the killers then mistakenly go to the home of one of the victims parents seeking a place to stay for the night. The film then focuses on the parents revenge against the killers. One of the most brutal films ever made, the graphic tortures and murders certainly will stick with you.
Bonus Knowledge: Had one of the most famous taglines of all time--
To avoid fainting, keep repeating: "It's only a movie, only a movie, only a movie..."
4. Antichrist- Danish director Lars Von Trier is probably the most acclaimed director working today so I knew I had to eventually check out his film's; I dare say I chose the wrong film to get started with. Antichrist was LVT's first film after a multi-year absence from directing due to severe depression, and it shows. In the opening scene a couple has passionate sex completely unaware that their child has escaped from his crib eventually falling out a window to his death. After the tragedy the husband, a trained psychotherapist, takes his wife to a cabin in the woods to try to treat her depression and guilt. Having your child die while you have sex is bound to mess with your sex life, but I was not expecting this. Obviously the film leads into sadomasochism and then even worse genital mutilation. If you watch just one film wherein Willem Defoe gets hit in the balls with a log and then ejaculates blood, I suggest you make it this one.
Note: Apparently body doubles were used for the sexually graphic scenes, so you readers with the Willem fetish may have to look elsewhere.
3. Isla She Wolf of the SS- So the story goes that I watched a documentary on Netflix about grindhouse/exploitation movies of the 70s and decided to check some out. This was one of the most infamous films from that era so I decided to ask for it for Xmas. Well on Xmas my brother decides to tell my parents how hard it was to find this film because they aren't allowed to sell the film in the US and thus he had to have it shipped from South Korea. If that weren't bad enough my brother decides to watch the film on Xmas, and then proceed to tell my entire family how mentally disturbed he thinks I must be.
The plot of the film is about a man hating female Nazi storm trooper who conducts experiments on prisoners in order to prove that women are more capable of enduring pain than are men. Yes that is seriously the plot. The film begins with Ilsa chopping a prisoners dick off and then torturing him while he bleed to death. The film just gets more disturbing from there. I used to jokingly put this on at my house when I got home from a night of drinking. After a while a roommate stole it and threw it away. Probably for the best.
2. Ken Park- By the famous creative team of director Larry Clark and writer Harmony Korine, you might know these two from their film Kids, Ken Park is another one of those films that was surprisingly never released in the US. This "film" begins with the titular character skateboarding to a park, setting up a camera, smiling into said camera and then blowing his brains out. In typical Larry Clark fashion the movie is more focused on filming teenage boys shirtless than plot or artistic merit. The film is literally a porno without the good acting and interesting plot most pornos are known for. The fact that I have seen every Larry Clark film is truly embarrassing.
Here are some of the things that occur in this film:
Teenage Boy has sex with girlfriends mom
Autoerotic Asphyxiation
Boys dad tries to drunkenly give his son a blowjob
Girl is forced to marry her dad
Boy stabs his grandparents to death
Big orgy at the end
1. Cannibal Holocaust- Cannibal Holocaust follows an anthropologist who goes to the amazon jungle in search of a documentary crew that planned to film cannibalistic tribes but never returned. The professor learns that the tribes killed the film crew and is able to recover their documentary footage. The film then transitions to the professor and the production company watching the footage and discovering why the crew was killed. The footage shows in graphic and extremely realistic detail how the crew members shot the tribe members, burned their villages and eventually raped and killed a female member. The tribe doesn't take to kindly to the murder of the female member and then proceed to gruesomely murder the crew.
What truly separates Cannibal Holocaust from the likes of Ken Park, Isla or Saló is that this film is very very well made. Director Ruggero Deadato uses a style of directing he learned called, Cinéma vérité or truthfull cinema, that gives the film an incredibly realistic documentary type feel. How realistic is it? Well the director was arrested and charged with murder because the Italian government was convinced the found footage segment of Cannibal Holocaust depicted real life rapes and murders. The director was not found innocent until he was able to produce the actors alive in court. It is because of the realism of the deplorable acts in this film, combined with all the naked people, that makes this the most disturbing film I have ever seen.
Bonus: There were no special effects used in the deaths of the animals in this film, they were al actually killed. FUCK peta
Other Noteworthy Films:
The Brood- Body horror classic by horror master David Cronenberg. Another film that will disturb any future parents
Caligula- After about an hour of watching this film, which included an orgy scene with women apparently humping spears, my roommate forced me to turn this film off and then chastised me.
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer- Very disturbing, very realistic look at two of the most infamous serial killers in US history. Low budget, good performances. The scenes involving the video camera are quite interesting.
Kids- A nice uplifting film about kids using drugs, beating kids with skateboards and spreading HIV to eachother
Marathon Man- The dental torture scenes is one of the hardest scenes to watch ever made. "Is it safe?"
Seventh Continent- In my top 10 films of the 80's. Psychologically disturbing film of a family that decides to destroy all their possessions and kill themselves, including their daughter.
Teeth- When the U of M media library did not have a movie that my roommate wanted to rent, the librarian recommended this movie based off of our other rentals; I've never been so proud. This film can be summed up by one line, "Vagina Dentata!!!!"
Any suggestions for disturbing films I need to check out???
Amityville Horror II: The Possession- I was inspired to watch this film when I discovered this description of it on Sound on Sight "It has all the subtlety and grace of a jackhammer hitting a gas line and exploding into a fireball of sex, gore, incest, asshole fathers, holy-roller mothers, snarky demons, and homicidal kids. And this is meant in the most endearing way possible". This film certainly fits that description well and far surpassed my high expectations. Literally every horror movie and haunted house cliche is on display during the first half of the film. The asshole father is portrayed by Burt Young, Rocky's friend Paulie, in a role he was born to play. The incest scene is one of the truly strangest and unnecessary scenes in any horror movie ever. Unfortunately the absolutely hilarious over the top haunted house first half transitions into the less funny Exorcism second half. Amityville 2 does nothing to further the demonic possession subgenre, and is literally just a rehash of The Exorcist with a more campy tone. While the second half is rather disappointing, the awesome over the top cheesiness of the second half more than makes up for it. I would give this film an 8/10
On a different note, why is it always the Catholic church that is called upon to perform an exorcism? Have they even tried other options? I mean what if the demon within the child gets its strength from tainted pork, wouldn't a Rabbi be a better choice? And you can't convince me that a few hours with a Snake Handler Pentecostal priest wouldn't straighten out an unruly demon more efficiently than some holy water and rosaries. Nah but it has to be the Catholic church because no other group of people is dumb enough to believe in foolishness like demonic possession.
The entire film is available on Youtube, however it's too big to put the whole thing on this blog so here's part 1. If you're into cheesy horror I would advise you to at least check out the first half.
Brother From Another Planet- The title of this film pretty much sums up the entire plot. It is about an alien slave, who besides his 3 toed feet and detachable eye just happens to look exactly like a black human, that crash lands on Ellis Island. The alien eventually ends up in Harlem and as the saying goes "hilarity ensues". The alien is mute so most of the humor of the film is based around his inability to talk and his incomprehension of black culture. The funniest parts of the film are when the white alien bounty hunters go to Harlem to try to recapture the black alien. While the film contains some genuinely funny scenes, it becomes repetitive towards the end. The film is overly long and also suffers from a completely unnecessary and extremely heavy handed anti-drug message. Nevertheless it was an above average movie and worth a watch it you can find it. 6/10
Scream, Blacula, Scream- Unable to decide between watching a horror film or a blaxplointation film, I decided to compromise and try to find a combination of the two. I was disappointed that I was unable to find the most famous example of this combination, Blacula. However Netflix had this sequel to it. I will admit that I have never seen the 30's version of Dracula with Bella Legosi, so I don't know if this is an attempt to adapt that story into black culture, but I highly doubt it is. The plot is very simple, and stupid, the leader of a voodoo cult dies and the group selects a female member as the next leader instead of an ambitious male member. Feeling scorned the male member resurrects Blacula to take revenge on the group, but Blacula instead tries to use the voodoo group to cure his undead curse. This film is easily the least scary vampire film I have ever seen, and unfortunately isn't even bad enough to be funny. Worse yet it includes none of the features that make blaxploitation films great, mainly no hatred for the white man, no cool black lingo and no over the top fight scenes. If you want to watch a blaxplointation film stick to the original and still greatest Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song. If you want horror you'll find scarier stuff in childrens cartoons. 3/10
As I have previously mentioned I am a huge fan of the Italian horror genre called Giallo. One of my favorite film websites, Sound on Sight, recently published a list of the greatest Giallo films of all time. Here's a better description of Giallo than I can supply, "the genre is comprised of equal parts early pulp thrillers, mystery novels, with a willingness to gleefully explore onscreen sex and violence in provocative, innovative ways. Giallos are strikingly different from American crime films: they value style and plot over characterization, and tend towards unapologetic displays of violence, sexual content, and taboo exploration. The genre is known for stylistic excess, characterized by unnatural yet intriguing lighting techniques, convoluted plots, red herrings, extended murder sequences, excessive bloodletting, stylish camerawork and unusual musical arrangements." My favorites are Tenebre #12 and The Bird with the Crystal Plumage #5, but it is still a quality and informative list. Clearly the author prefers Dario Argento films, and I couldn't agree more. The top ten are below, but I encourage you to follow the link to the website. http://www.soundonsight.org/greatest-horror-movies-ever-made-part-6-best-italian-giallo-films/
10. Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (Gastaldi)
9. Don't Torture a Duckling (Fulci)
8. Blood and Black Lace (Bava)
7. Bay of Blood (Bava)
6. Hatchet for the Honeymoon (Bava)
5. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (Argento)
4. The Girl Who Knew Too Much (Bava)
3. Opera (Argento)
2. Suspiria (Argento)
1. Deep Red (Argento)
Because Halloween isn't just about candy or staring at sorority chicks dressed like sluts, it's also about the scares. Thus I bring you some suggestions of frightening movies to put you in the Halloween spirit.
House of the Devil- I absolutely loved this film and have no idea why it took me so long to find it. Once I watched it my obsession with horror films was reignited. It is a throwback to the horror movies of the 70s/80s and includes many filming techniques from that era including zooming in on characters, freeze frames and metal music in the credits. While the plot is just a run of the mill haunted house/babysitter story, the director takes a while to build up to the climax creating suspense and a very creepy atmosphere. When the climax does come it is well worth the wait. Apparently the cast includes many b horror movie stars from the past. Honestly, who doesn't like watching pretty girls dance around and shoot pool? Available on Netflix Streaming
The Evil Dead- While the first sequel might be my favorite movie of all time, it is actually more horror than comedy, and I would suggest the straight horror original as the perfect mood setter for All Hallows Eve. Shot on a minuscule budget by a bunch of undergraduates from MSU, the Evil Dead is the quintessential cabin in the woods film. Truly one of the scariest films I've ever seen, this film helped launch the A-list career of director Sam Raimi, 21 years old at time of filming, the B-list career of cult actor Bruce "The Chin"Campbell, and was the first film in the greatest trilogy in movie history. Stephen King, who knows a thing or two about horror, was such a fan of this film that he lobbied his producer friend Dino De Laurentiis to produce the sequel.
The Halloween Series- Seems kind of obvious huh... While the original is a horror classic, feel free to watch it, I am actually more of a fan of the later and campier installments.
Note: I would not suggest Halloween 2, it has none of the suspense of original and is just gross our kills, or Halloween 3 Season of the Witch, absolute garbage. Halloween 4/5- These films are similar to the original in theme, with Michael Myers niece Jamie Lloyd replacing his sister Laurie Strode as the object of his "affection". Both films have a fairly similar tone and the same cast. I have fond memories of watching these films with my old roommates every October Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers- In 1995 a young Paul Rudd starred in two films, Clueless and this film, and I think he's very happy the former is what he's best remembered for. Honestly this is just the normal Michael Myers kills people plot, but worth a viewing if only to see Mr. Rudd. Halloween H2O- After 20 years of searching, Michael Myers finally tracks down his hermaphrodite sister, with Jamie Lee Curtis returning to the role that made her famous. Easily the best film in the series besides the original, it is a lot less campy and a lot more scary than the other Halloween films on this list. Includes one of LL Cool J's first acting roles, and a young Josh Hartnett. Halloween Resurrection- This film begins with Michael Myers finally killing his sister and then transitions into a full on camp-fest. Made when the internet was first becoming popular, this film tried and failed to adapt the franchise to generation Y. Includes a hilarious performance by Busta Rhymes. Available on Netflix Streaming
Friday the 13th part IV: Jason Lives- This is the best film in the FT13 series for the sole reason that the opening credits include a ridiculous song by Alice Cooper. I'm not really sure what the plot of this film is, and it doesn't really matter. As with all slasher movies it's all about the kills and this film no doubt includes some inventive ways to murder teenagers.
Bonus: Maybe it will motivate you to get shitfaced at 11am and start dancing around on couches and humping the air like it did to a certain old roommate of mine, wish I still had video of that...
A Nightmare on Elm Street- While I am normally prefer the sequels to horror franchises, that is not the case with this series. I originally watched one of the sequels of this Freddy Krueger series and hated, thought the whole premise was stupid and thought Freddy wasn't scary or funny. Several years later I finally saw the original and was very surprised to find that it was actually a very good film. Freddy is actually a villain in it, not a comedy sideshow, and the kills are very cool.
Bonus: Johnny Depp's first movie role includes a very memorable death scene
Night of the Living Dead-The one that started it all, the grandfather of the zombie film, set the stage for the early 2000s zombie film revolution. Without this film there would be no Walking Dead, no discussions of fast vs slow zombies, and certainly no Zombie Apocalypse preppers. The first film to show the now famous slow walking brain eating zombies, this low budget black and white film from the late 60s takes its premise seriously and is unrelenting in its depiction of violence from beginning to end. While I might be a bigger fan of the next film in the series, Dawn of the Dead, NotLD has less social commentary and more true horror. "They're coming to get you Barbara!!"
Fright Night- Maybe the most 80's film of all time, at least horror wise. The premise of this film is that a vampire moves next door to a nerd who recruits a tv vampire hunter for help, and there's some sort of love plot too. The remake with Colin Farrell takes this idea seriously and not surprisingly it get bad reviews. The original is pure 80's cheese, and is a Halloween classic.
The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 3,4, and 5- Some of the greatest episodes from one of the greatest tv show's of all time. Includes parodies of many popular Horror/Halloween classics including The Twilight Zone, King Kong, NotLD/RorLD, Dracula and of course The Shining
Sorry loyal readers but movie dude z is busy with classes and won't have time to write about movies for the next couple of days. To hold you over I bring you this paragraph from rottentomatoes weekly catch up column discussing the awesome new charlie brown movie. Not are the Peanuts gang unfunny and annoyingly religious, but now they will be in awful looking CGI!!!
This Week's Top Story
GOOD GRIEF, IT'S A CGI PEANUTS MOVIE, CHARLIE BROWN!
Hollywood has been procuring and securing film rights to so many intellectual properties for so long that when a deal is made for one of the few remaining treasures, it's especially surprising. Such was the shock this week when 20th Century Fox revealed that the pieces are already in place for a CGI animated feature film based on the late Charles Schulz's comic stripPeanuts. This deal is already far enough along that Peanuts has a director, a script, and a scheduled release date on November 25, 2015. That date will mark the 65th anniversary of the comic strip, and the 50th anniversary of A Charlie Brown Christmas. Peanuts will be produced by the Blue Sky Studios team under the direction of Steve Martino, who previously gave us (as codirector) Horton Hears a Who! and Ice Age: Continental Drift. The Peanuts script was written by Charles Schulz's son Craig Schulz, his grandson Bryan Schulz, and Bryan's screenwriting partner Cornelius Uliano, with all three also producing. What's as yet unknown is exactly what the Peanuts feature film will be about, except in the very broad strokes that Peanuts was always about. The lead character of Peanuts is sad sack grade schooler Charlie Brown, and his peripheral cast includes his pet beagle Snoopy (who entertains a dream life as the Red Baron fighter pilot), his sister Sally, the bossy girl Lucy and her brother Linus, Schroeder the musician, the messy Pig Pen, Woodstock the bird, and gal pals Peppermint Patty and Marcie. Still reading this paragraph? Here is an image of the Peanuts gang as if they had been created by Alan Moore.
Yes, Yes I know I've already done a top 10 list, but who cares lists are fun and require very little thinking, so enjoy!!
1. Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn: Many people mistakenly believe that the best thing Dino De Laurentiis ever helped produce was a big boobed, giant foreheaded granddaughter who cooks on the food network. In reality Big Dino was a producer of this horror comedy classic which just so happens to be the Greatest Film of All Time. With a larger budget than the original, which was acquired mainly because Stephen King was a huge fan of the first, this film is essentially a remake of the original with a much larger focus on comedy. The camera angels and direction of this film are some of the most creative ever done. The star, Bruce Campbell, has since become a B movie legend and has acquired one of the biggest cult followings of any actor ever; after watching this film you will know why. Evil Dead II is an acting tour de force for by Bruce. In one scene he actually fights his own demon infested hand, and loses, before he ultimately recovers and chops it off with a chainsaw. It is embarrassing to admit, but I like this film so much that I own not one but 2 books by Bruce Campbell, an autobiography and a very silly novel. One of the biggest nerd films ever made, but I am by no means ashamed to say that it is my favorite film.
Here is the 47 greatest seconds ever caught on film aka the Greatest Scene of All Time:
Note: I was dead serious when I said I wanted this scene playing on a TV on my Tombstone
2. Blade Runner: With a plot based off of a Phillip K. Dick novel and visuals inspired by the film Metropolis its no surprise that Blade Runner is such a beautifully shot and extremely intelligent science fiction film. The film has had a troubled past due to studio interference that included crappy studio executive editing and a pointless and abysmal voiceover. Make sure you watch the "Final Cut" version of the film which is how director Ridley Scott originally planned the film to be. Without a doubt this is my favorite Harrison Ford role and film. Harrison Ford plays a "Blade Runner", or a detective that is tasked with finding and destroying human replicants who attempt to integrate themselves into human society. Ford is not your average invincible action movie star and is almost always seen without the upper hand in fights. Nevertheless he is a very competent detective and gets the job done. Is Deckard a replicant? The film wisely never says and allows the view to decide for themselves. This film tackles some very big questions and has some of the most phenomenal visuals of any film in the 80's. Probably my favorite science fiction film of all time. My proudest moment of my undergraduate studies was being able to watch this film on a big screen in my Digital Media Theory class
Here is the famous speech by Rutger Hauer, of Hobo with a Shotgun fame, about what it means to be human:
3. Blue Velvet: While the plot sounds pretty straight forward, boy discovers clue from a crime and decides to investigate himself in the process hooking up with the detectives daughter, but when has anything David Lynch has ever taken a straight forward approach to film making Here are just a couple examples of what David Lynch added to place a simple story into the DL universe: a severed ear, a lobotomy, a woman forcing her stalker to have sex with her, lipstick wearing Roy Orbison fans (see video) and of course the famous scene which wikipedia describes what happens as follows "[Dennis Hopper] inflicts his bizarre sexual proclivities — which include inhaling an unidentified gas, dry humping, and sadomasochism." Either you really like the cinematic worlds David Lynch creates, full of colorful often creepy characters, or you prefer Disney fluff and drinking Kool-Aid
"Heineken... FUCK THAT SHIT, Pabst Blue Ribbon!!!!"
Here's a typical David Lynch scene:
4. Brazil: While not exactly a direct adaptation of George Orwell's 1984, Brazil was certainly inspired by the book, and is definitely my favorite portrayal of a dystopian society in film. The story follows a low level bureaucrat who tries to reverse a mistake by the state and eventually begins to question the over reaching power of the state and falls in love. The end of this film is absolutely great. Robert De Niro, in probably my favorite role of his, plays a "renegade air conditioning specialist who once worked for the government but left due to his dislike of paperwork" and is of course treated like a terrorist, sort of sounds like the US today huh. The film includes many common Terry Gilliam trademarks such as crazy visuals, dream sequences and ridiculous characters. TG had to start a public campaign against the movie studio in order to get the film released how he wanted it, and I'm glad to say he won Warning: Once you watch this film you will be unable to get the theme music out of your head for many days 5. This Is Spinal Tap: Simply the funniest movie ever made, period. It's too bad that Rob Reiner is now more focused on eating his weight in onion rings ever day and taking away peoples right to smoke cigarettes than he is on making good films. Filmed as a fake rockumentary or "Mockumentary" if you will, this film follows a washed up English rock band on their cursed tour of the US. The songs are absolutely hilarious, and bonus the actors actually play all their own instruments. Infinitely quotable, I find the best parts of this film are when the actors are improvising their lines talking to the camera and speaking complete nonsense with a British accent. On a scale of 1-10 this comedy goes to 11
It's not often that the end credits of a film are worth watching, but this might be the funniest clip from the film:
Marty DiBergi: You play to a predominantly white audience, do you feel your music is racist in any way? David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but... Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it. David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it. Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, literally mean it. David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but... Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists. David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear, anyway. Nigel Tufnel: We're anything but racists. 6. The Thing: While I haven't seen the original, The Thing from Another Planet 1951, I think it's pretty safe to assume that this is one of the rare occasions where the remake is a million times better. John Carpenter had a great decade in the 80's with such classics as Escape from New York, Prince of Darkness and They Live, however this is clearly his masterpiece. The special effects are really the star of the show here and are truly some of the best ever filmed, proving that CGI is not necessary to create a great sci fi film. The fantastic cast includes Kurt Russel staring as a J&B drinking reluctant hero, Mr. Diabetes himself Wilford Brimley as a scientist that goes batshit crazy, bonus: Keith fucking David! How this film was a flop I will never understand, truly one of the best Sci Fi's of all time. It's a shame that Hollywood no longer lets John Carpenter make movies
Here is a great clip from Carpenter's They Live:
And here is a very important Public Service announcement from Wilford:
7. Platoon: While I never fought in Vietnam, I have heard that this is the most realistic depiction of the life of the common soldier during the war, and I have to say its easy to believe. The film feels so real because it is based on the real life experience of director Oliver Stone as a volunteer during the war. It follows Charlie Sheen, playing Oliver Stone, as he decides which sergeant in his platoon will win his soul the beer drinking, pro-war, jingoist psychopath Sgt. Barnes or pro-peace, weed smoking Sgt. Elias. Platoon is a great anti-war film and according to the Naked Gun, one heck of a funny film. 8. Tenebre/Opera: Anyone who follows my twitter, @Chronsauce, knows that I am a major fan of the Italian horror subgenre Giallo. These films all follow a similar plot in which the main character witnesses a murder and then takes it upon himself to personally investigate a serial murderer. They are known for having long chase scenes and being very graphic, however their predictability, cheesy acting and metal soundtrack keep them from ever becoming too scary. Dario Argento is the master of the Giallo film, and these two are without a doubt his best of the 80's; actually Opera was Argento's last quality film before he started a 25 year funk he has yet to get out of. Both have almost the exact same plot, one involves a writer and the other an opera singer; but as I mentioned the plot is meaningless, its all about the creative death scenes.
This picture should give you some idea of what these films are like:
9. The Seventh Continent: I figure I have to include at least one foreign film in the top 10 or else I'll lose all credibility (As if I had any to begin with). Seventh Continent is the story of a couple with one daughter who tell everyone that they are moving to Australia, the continent from the title, when in actuality they are planning on killing themselves. Once all their affairs are in order they eat an extravagant final meal and begin systemically destroying all their possessions They break everything in their house showing zero emotions until a very disturbing scene in which the father destroys his daughters fish tank and she begins to scream and cry. Certainly one of the stranger films I have ever seen, it is nonetheless one of the best of the 80s. Cannot wait to see director Michael Haneke's most recent film Love which won the Palme d'Or at Cannes this year 10. The Princess Bride: While this certainly isn't the most masculine choice for this spot, I contend that it is the correct choice because while it may be a love story it is also one heck of a funny film. The film may be based off of common Disney type fairy tales but is full of many extra elements that elevate it far above normal Disney fair. Honestly who hasn't repeated the line, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" a million times? Really just me... oh whatever. Billy Crystal and Carol Kane as an old supposed to be Jewish couple are quite funny, and it has Andre the Fucking Giant in it!!!
Useless Information: This is the favorite movie of a certain middle school band teacher, who shall remain nameless, who once told me I was a Cancer
Here's a great clip that my professor played on my first class of Undergrad:
Other Noteworthy films from the 80's:
A Fish Called Wanda/Fletch: Two of the funniest films not just of the 80's but of all time. Wanda is about the aftermath of a robbery and was written by and stars Monty Python alum John Cleese. Kevin Kline became one of the few actors to ever win an Oscar for a performance in a comedy, and don't call him stupid. Fletch stars Chevy Chase as a reporter investigating crime on the beach. Fletch is perfect for Chevy's quick wit and is full of great one liners. It's impossible to turn Fletch off once you've watched more than a minute of it
Altered States/Predator/The Terimator: 3 truly 80's films. High concept Sci-Fis that simply did not have the budgets to create credible special effects, yet they're still awesomely campy nonetheless
Barfly: The movie was written by Charles Bukowski for christ's sake!!
Cannibal Holocaust: The star of this film is most famous for being in Debbie Does Dallas, and the director was put on trial for murder because the police actually thought they filmed the main actors being killed. Probably the most disturbing film ever made. Yet it would not be nearly so disturbing if it wasn't so well made as to actually convince the viewer that the movie might be real. It became so popular that it started the "found footage" genre, which unfortunately has produced zero other films near the quality of CH
Crimes and Misdemeanors: An examination of how someone justifies murder, and how they deal with and eventually overcome their guilt. My favorite Woody film of the 80's
Dead Ringers/Videodrome: In the 80's David Cronenberg took his body horror subgenre to its ultimate frightening peak with these two films. The first film stars Jeremy Irons, in one of the best performances of all time, in the duel role of two highly regarded twin gynecologists that slowly become drug addicted and go insane; the special instruments they create for their job are absolutely horrifying. The second film stars James Woods and is a "techno surrealist" portrayal of a television show that causes hallucinations and eventually cancer, "Long Live the New Flesh"
Fitzcarraldo: Brian Fitzgerald is the ultimate movie dreamer. The character is so determined to bring the Opera to the jungle that he attempts to move a giant ship over a mountain in order to make money as a rubber baron to finance the opera house. Klaus Kinski is perfect for playing the obsessive/mad character of Fitzgerald because everything I've read says Klaus was flipping nuts.The story of how this film was made is almost as interesting as the film itself and is covered in the documentary Burden of Dreams. Not only did director Werner Herzog actually threaten to kill Kinski with a loaded gun on set, but they actually moved a giant ship over a mountain using the primitive methods shown in the film. Also, it's impossible to think about this film and not imagine how different it may have been if Mick Jagger didn't drop out after many shooting delays
Phenomena: Another film by Dario Argento, only this ones a lot less scary than his others. The final 5 minutes of this film are simply the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life, absolutely hilarious
The Vanishing: Not just one of the best foreign horror films of all time, The Vanishing is without a doubt one of the best and most original horror films ever. The main character is simply one of the most purely evil villains ever put on film
Withnail and I: One of the biggest cult films of all time. Story of two unemployed and alcoholic actors who take a vacation which, of course, leads to many misadventures. People have actually died in the drinking game associated with this movie in which you are supposed to go drink for drink with Withnail
Overrated Films of the 80's:
A Christmas Story: I hate this film
Airplane!: I did not place this film in this section because I think it is a bad or unfunny film, in fact I like it a lot! I placed it here because I am more of a fan of the Zucker Brothers other slapstick classic The Naked Gun: From the File of the Police Squad! I think that Naked Gun is a more polished and consistently funny film that is unfortunately overshadowed by Airplane!
ET: My parents never got divorced so unlike Steven Spielberg I didn't long for an alien friend to fill the void. Maybe if your parents did divorce and you have the same frame of mind as Spielberg then you think this is a good film, I don't know. For me this was boring garbage
Field of Dreams: When I was younger and we used to have family night 7 times out of 10 we would watch this film, and I never understood why. It has a memorable quote, a true Michigan man in JEJ and is sort of about baseball, so I should like it right? Unfortunately I've always found it rather boring and more of a chickflick than a sports film
Galipoli: Supposed to be an inspirational story of when Australia came together during WWI and finally became a unified nation. Unfortunately it is incomprehensible Australian gibberish
Raiders of the Lost Ark: A combination of Too High expectations and a hatred of George Lucas and Steven Spielberg are why this film is in this section. Call me crazy but I am just not a huge fan of Indiana Jones. Not a bad film by any means, I just think it's not quite as good as its reputation would suggest. A hard drinking Karen Allen is a very nice addition tho
The Color of Money: While I love me some Billiards, and Scorsese has some occasional cool visuals, I simply can't take any film with Tom Cruise, when he doesn't have a ponytail, in it seriously. The only reason this film exists was to give Paul Newman the Oscar he should have won for The Hustler or The Verdict
Tootsie: I didn't like it when Robin Williams went in drag, I didn't like it when Jack Lemmon and Tony "my daughter has a penis" Curtis went in drag, in what is mistakenly called the funniest film ever, and I certainly did not like this film where Dustin Hoffman goes in drag. If you want a quality film where men dress up as women I have two words for you... White Chicks
Films From the 80's that I have not seen yet, and yes there are A LOT of them:
